It Breaks in Two
by OnceAthoughtNowADream
Summary: "You don't get to do that, you don't get to cry.. you destroyed us! Not me!" Sequel to When The Sun Sets/ Its been 3 years since leaving Lima behind, but love is a full time job and when it's neglected mistakes are made.
1. i can always feel you

I **couldn't wait, in my opinion it starts off a little slow but I want to give a look into what the problems are going to be about in this story. a huge part of me writing them both being rich was to show that money doesn't buy happiest if anything true love does. Even if it's loving yourself lol! anyways I have about 7 chapters planned out they are the angst and then after I plan of the fluff and happiness! hope you guys are still with me I hope not to disappoint!**

* * *

"I don't care what he's saying Jon, I run a mulit-billion dollar company and he manages ONE of them and he can't even get the damn books to me when I ask? Now does that sound logical to you Jon?"

"Uh-…er…"

"Well spit it out Jon..does it? I mean I've been running this company for 3 and a half years now and he's always the one that is slow and behind on shit, why is that? And can I get a answer this time?"

" He just has a lot on his plate Mr. Hudson, his wife just had twins and you know how bossy women can be?" he says laughing, trying to lighten the mood.

" Are you insinuating that MY Rachel is a bossy woman?" I know it's kind of dick, and that he didn't mean it like that. But something I've learned you can't be too nice then they start to think they can do whatever, I mean I get it I'm the richest 21 year old in New York. I didn't get that way just from inheritance, when I got this company from my..Chris. It was going under, he never came in and checked the books and most the people were cheating him and stealing. I fired almost all of them and hired my own people, three years later and here I am 10 new restaurants 5 hotels and bank. Mostly because I don't trust other companies with my money, I've learned a lot about banks too and they aren't as easy going about money as I use to think.

"N-no.. Mr. Hudson-" He's saved by my assistant walking through the door." Mr. Hudson it's your fiancé, she said are you busy or should she come back?" Before I could answer Rachel is storming in the room." I asked to be nice, I didn't actually mean it." I could see the pout in her face so I waved for the rest of the people to leave. " Whats wrong baby?" She's been doing great at school, landing all the really big roles, even if I have to sneak in and see her so I go unnoticed I still make sure I go to every single one. " I didn't get the part Finn! Can you believe that? They gave it to Jessica. JESSICA Finn… you know she slept with someone for that part." She sighs and slams down on my lap with a huff. " I'm sure she did baby, no other reason they would have picked her over you." Just then my assistant comes in again without knocking (I got to say something about that) and hands me a stack of papers smiles and walks out. "Anyways like I was saying Rach-"

" What the hell was that Finn?" she's now standing in front of me with both her hands on her hips. I've never been super bright but right now I'm completely confused. "Um.. I think these are some invoices from last week and-" She lets out another angry huff " That's is not what I mean Finn Hudson and you know that! And why did you get a new assistant? What happened to Annie she was so sweet. Now this tramp she's like 15 Finn, and I'm pretty sure if given the chance she would jump your bones WITH ME HERE?" I don't know when this started but out of nowhere Rachel started to act weird when i'm around girls, I've kind of gotten used to it, but it still gets old. "OK, first Annie was 65 and left for retirement and Ashley is 19 and shes a sweet girl, and again YOU are the only girl for me." "Mr. Hudson line 3 is the conference call you been waiting on." I hear Ashley other in intercom. "Ok thanks Ash" As soon as I say I know I'm going to regret it. " ASH, SERIOUSLY FINN? YOU GIVE ALL YOUR EMPLOYEES NICKNAMES? Hmm lets see.. do you call Michael, Mickey? Or do you call Allen, Al? or do the 19 year old hot blondes only get the nicknames?" I hang my head in defeat, "Look Rachel I have to take this call.. can we please talk about this tonight when I get home?" I can see her face turn up in more anger. "You Finn Hudson can say whatever you want when you get home I want be there, I'll be at my little apartment with my friends and you sir and have the whole big mansion to yourself.. oh and ASH" and before I could even respond she was out the door. If this was life back in Lima I'd drop everything and gone after her, but it's not. So I pick up the phone and press the number 3 and wipe my mind of the argument I just had with the girl of my dreams…

"Mr. Hudson speaking."

* * *

I know what people think, I'm a huge brat and ungrateful. I'm not, I'll admit Finn gives me everything I want and more. But I don't want the house if he's not ever in the damn thing with me. He gets me what I want, when he's all I actually need. He got me the cute little apartment close to NYADA that he promised and I have my friends over from time to time. Playing the struggling actress role only lasted so long, when they realized who I was engaged to they didn't really change how they were around me." He got a new assistant, she's gorgeous Lisa, seriously like Quinn Fabray gorgeous and she's there with him every day and I'm here and when he does see me I'm a mess." Lisa has easily become my best friend here, Santana and I still talk but she's always really busy so I don't like to bother her. " He loves you Rachel, we both know it. Plus how do you think he would feel if he knew you and Alex hung out so much?" Alex has been my male lead in a few school productions, we're really good friends and when I want to go out to lunch or something along those lines he goes with me.

" Seriously Lisa? Alex and I are just friends.. nothing more." I don't know why people always think we have something going on. I'm not even sure he plays for my team exactly. I feel a arm go across my shoulder. " So are we going back to the mansion tonight or are you making us slum it in the apartment." I can immediately that Alex has had way to much to drink, I laugh it off. " My apartment buddy because it's close and I'm not carrying you any further then I have too." We all get ready to go and I pay for the drinks, I have my own little group of friends now, it's different WAY different then in Lima: Alex, Lisa, Jimmy, Blake and Katie. We've been inseparable since freshmen year, mostly because we all have the best talent. I feel my phone vibrate and I don't even have to look to know who it is..

_Come home Rach.. I miss you.. and then bed misses you and other parts of my body misses you ;) _

_ No Finn! Go to sleep.. and maybe you the bed and the other part of you can get lucky tomorrow night!_

_Fine, have a good night baby, I love you!_

_I love you too_

"We aren't done partying are we Ray it's only 2am" I hear Alex say and I look around at my friends and see the worry in their eyes, but hell one night of being crazy every killed anyone."Nope! we're just moving it to my apartment!"

"TO MY "SLUM" OF AN APARTMENT!" we all burst into laughter! Tonight is going to be fun i'll drink with my friends and I'm not going to think about the love of my life and his beautiful new assistant or how I never get to see him and when I do see him he's never really there. I'll deal with all that tomorrow.

* * *

**As always the reviews are everything and greatly appreciated! things should start to pick up! !**

**and here we go again guys :) Im excited!**

**review review review !**


	2. things aren't easy

**So here we are.. the build up to the drama, but what I have planned it's going to be worth it. it only gets worse and deeper but like always the end is happy and fluffy and well ..Finchel and all their amazingness.**

**thank you guys for everything, for sticking with me! I hope you guys are liking it so far!**

**reviews are very appreciated! always have been always will be!**

* * *

"Fuck… fu-uck.. holy FUCK!" I start to open my eyes and look down, to see nothing but a sheet of brown hair bobbing up and down she stops and looks up and me and smiles " you said another part of you missed me, well I miss it to." She smiles and shoots me a winks before continuing, best way in the world to be woken up. I wrap my fingers through her hair and start to thrust slowing as she starts to speed up until I can feel myself about to cum. "FUCK RACH" she takes me in completely and the vibration she does in her throat is enough to make me blow completely in her mouth.

"I can get use to the arguments if that's how they end." I say pulling her up to me and kissing her tasting my own flavor along with the amazing taste that is Rachel. "Yeah well don't get use to it, I came home and saw your friend standing at attention and since my 'aunt flow' is here visiting I fingured I would handle it for you." She kisses me and slides off the bed, " Damn I hate her, so what to you have planned today? Maybe you can come to the office and we can have lunch?" I know miss how it use to be, when we would meet at our spot and spend hours talking to loving each other, it's not like that anymore I miss her, but I know she deserves a certain life so I sacrifice, and we just don't talk about it.

"Yeah I would love that and we can talk about this part that I want to fly out and audition for! Also we found this really nice karaoke bar last night and maybe you can get off early and come-" the smile on her face falls and I know why, my damn phone starts to ring." I'm sorry baby I'll be quick." I send her a apologetic look before answering.

"Mr.- Oh hey dude!.. Na it's just me a Rach right now, Rachel! Puck says hi!"

"Tell Noah I said hello!" she yells from the bathroom," So what's going on?" he starts to go into detail about the business in Lima and how the plans to place 2 restaurants in Georgia, one obviously in the capitol Atlanta and one in this little small town called Woodstock, I'd never heard of it, but apparently the activity is growing by the month. "Listen I've been doing years of research on this place and yeah for awhile a few restaurants in Lima is going to be holding it up but I'm positive that it will start to hold it's own, if it doesn't ill take it from there and start early on putting one in Miami, sound good?" Of course he agrees, but I can hear his hesitation.

I finally hang up and go back upstairs to find no Rachel, but a sticky note in the mirror, "_two hours is quick to you? I'll see you at lunch Finn bye"_

Damn it.

* * *

"How's the soon–to-be richest female in New York doing today?"

"Lisa, don't be a bitch.. " don't get me wrong I'm grateful for my friends and they never ask for money or anything that would make me think they are just my friends because I happen to share a bank account that has way to any digits in it, but when they bring it up, it gets annoying." Let me guess, he didn't show you the attention you wanted and blah blah blah, suck it up, when you guys get married and live happily ever after and are old and the end of your live like some fairy tale and you are sitting outside on rocking chairs watching your grandchildren run around and play you won't be worried about how much he didn't pay attention to you, you'll be focused on how no matter what you guys are still together.. so seriously Rachel, do me a favor and grow up!" and with that she walked into her class and left me with the huge urge to slap her in the face, but she's right. Plus, I'm tired of arguing with Finn all the time, I finish my classes and stop by this best vegan café in Manhattan to pick up our lunches before heading to the office.

I step out the café and couldn't help but smile and say out loud "smooth Finn, very smooth" before he driver comes up and hands me a dozen of roses, "Ms. Berry, said I would find you here and to give you and to drive you to the office." My smile grows wider and I can't help but feel that flutter in my heart every time I'm reminded of why I love him so much. "Tony, for the millionth time call me Rachel, and thank you." I climb into the limo and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, he tries and in reality what more can I ask for. He's one of the only good men left and I have him, getting mad because he's making a living it's not fair to either of us. When we arrive I still get butterflies in my stomach after all these years and that too makes my smile grow wider.

I open the door to see him writing and turning to and from his computer with a face on that I can only imagine means whatever he's doing is extremely serious, I slowly creep in trying not to disturb him. As soon as he looks up I almost melt when he shoots me the half smile that I love so much " I see you got my roses and ..Tony?" I couldn't help but laugh at his extreme awkwardness. "Yes I got them both." And with that we both laughed.

"I'm sorry Rach, I wish I could make it all stop, all the craziness for like a week and just share it with you, but I can't right now I want everything to be in place for when we do take 2 weeks after we get married to be together." I can see how sorry he is in his eyes and I instantly feel horrible.

"It's ok Finn, I understand.. plus sometimes I can be hmm.. dramatic?"

"I never noticed." And before anything else happened I closed the gap between up and kiss him with as much passion as I could, to show him how much I miss him and love him and also how sorry I am.

"Umm..Mr. Hudson, the partners are here and they are requesting your presence." I hear a little annoying voice say behind me.

"You've got to be kidding me Finn!?" I can feel the tantrum coming but it's like I'm getting taken over or something, like Santana has Snix maybe mine is called Roxy because I can assure you I'm not this crazy."I'm so sorry Rach I didn't know they would be here today." He nods to the blonde slutty assistant that I'm seriously starting to loathe. "So you invite me to lunch and now your leaving.. that's classic Finn, I mean that you for granting me these 5 minutes with my fiancé, I truly feel so grateful that I got to be in front of the amazing Mr. Finn –Fucking –Hudson. So go so they can then kiss your ass also..because im sure as hell not about too." The more I spoke the more anger I could see flowing through his face, it's not my fault.. well maybe a little but damn it I just wanted one day ONE lunch to have with my fiancé, so I should have seen by his face that I was going to get the response I got but I was still taken back by it.

"HA! That's funny Rach, but all of that shit your talking right now.. you never have anything to say when you are bringing home bags full of clothes of flying to Paris so you can see what's new in fashion or buying out full rows to shows to make sure your friends get to go with you.. and lets not talk about when you ran the car into a pole and it had a scratch so you decided to give it to someone "who needed it" and went to buy another fucking car. At THOSE moments I don't hear a god damn peep from you.. so how about you do me a favor and shut the fuck up now, because I'm doing the best I can to make US happy and make YOU happy and by the way, it's proving to be harder then running my own damn company." I know he regretted it before he even finished and I could hear him call out to me after I turned and ran away, but I don't care I'll find someone who wants to spend time with me.

"Alex? Can you meet me at my apartment?"

* * *

**ahh the business and Alex ?seem to be imposing out the perfect life that is my beloved Finn and Rachel.**

**Im going to try and get the next chapter out soon!**

**So let me know what you guys are thinking!**

**review review review! :)**


	3. never enough for you

**Thanks guys for following :) here's another chapter.. I was thinking about doing a flashback chapter to when they first got to new York? what do you guys think?**

* * *

"Rach.." I wait to see if she answers as I walk into the house I figured after she left she wouldn't be home for awhile and it gave me plenty of time to set everything up. I walked down stairs into our theater room and pulled everything I needed out of the closet, our special blanket followed by our picnic basket and after going in the kitchen and pulling out little things of food I brought home earlier I knew everything was ready. I put her favorite movie on and got a bottle of her favorite wine, we have been in a bad place lately and for once I want to be able to make it right. My phone is off for tonight because I'm going to spend every hour I have free making her understand how much she means to me.

Around 12 I started to get worried, I called her phone and it went straight to voicemail. I honestly figured it would she was probably still mad and she had the right to be. I eventually went back up stairs to get sit in the living room and wait for her. When I heard someone whispering outside the door, I knew it couldn't be anyone but her so I ran to the door to open and greet her.

Drunk, she's at our front door with her friends Alex completely inebriated. She started to giggle and finally picks up the keys I'm guessing she had dropped when she tried to get inside the house. "Rachel, what the hell are you doing?" I try not to let the anger that's building be heard in my voice. "BABY! Hey.. ok so umm.. Alex is staying in the..the.. umm.. guest room! Yeah that's the word." She starts to laugh and kisses me on the cheek as she drags Alex pass and into the guest room. A few seconds later shes walking out and she blows me a kiss " I love you finny!" and before I could answer she's closing the door to our room. So much for the night.. so much for making her forgive me.

I stood there for awhile wondering when and how long my life has been going down the drain. 3 years ago we left our past behind, the addiction that I deal with everyday is a reminder of how much not having control over your life can ruin it, it a blink of an eye. We left the abuse and the pain and our fathers to sit with their guilt. Now we're here in a new world that we have created and somehow we aren't even happy. We lost what we mean to each other, and to busy to notice that with every passing day it get worse and to stubborn to take the blame for our own faults.

I should go up the steps and help her into the shower and rubs her head until she's fast asleep on my chest. That's what I should do, but I can't, it honestly hurts to damn much. I know I'll always love Rachel, but I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I grab my coat and lock the door behind me, I jump in my car and before I even know where I'm going I'm pulling up to my office. I can see the light on the top floor is still on, I figure it must be the cleaning crew, walking into the office this late feels right. I shouldn't be home right now.. I should give us each time to think and figure out if this is really what we want.

"Mr. Hudson what are you doing here this late?" I hear someone call from behind me, I look over my shoulder to see its Ashley. "Well Ash I could ask you the same thing?" I say with a small laugh, trying to make that look of fear fall from her face. " I'm so sorry, I was behind on some stuff so I went home and ate and then decided to come back and try to get ahead of my work. Again, I'm truly sorry" Ashley really is a beautiful young girl, but to me no one is more beautiful then Rachel, I sometimes laugh at how much I compare other women to her. Every man should be so lucky to have a woman like Rachel and here I am losing mine. " it's fine Ash, I'll be in my office if you need me." I walk in my office and realize how extremely cold it is, and I turn around to see her in nothing but the dress she was wearing earlier. I forgot that at night the heat automatically goes off. I walk over and wrap my coat around her. "Thank you Mr. Hudson, I completely forgot how cold it gets in here at night." She smiles and pulls the coat around her more.

"Don't mention it Ash" and with that I went back into my office and pulled out a few blankets I had stashed in my closet.

I didn't think tonight would consist of me sleeping in my office, while my fiancé is passed out in our bed and her male companion passed out down the hall. I can feel a tear fall down my face and I start to slowly fall asleep. I don't feel anything anymore just anger.

* * *

"Ray get up! I'm leaving.." I open my eyes to see Alex leaning over me, I rub my eyes to see that we are in my house. Not the apartment, the house that, the house that I share with my fiancé. "Ok Alex, bye!" he disappears as he closes my door. I reached my arm out to my any chance he be there. Empty..shit!

My head feels like a damn brick keeps falling on it, and I'm still not sure how after studying and going to the bar we ended up at the house. Either way I'll have to deal with that later.

"Finn!...baby?" I walk throughout the house yelling, to hear nothing but my echo back. I start to walk down to the theater room he probably slept down there last night to get away from me, I couldn't blame him.

I'm almost immediately stopped by the beautiful picnic that has been laid out for me, the bottle of wine now sitting in water since the ice had obviously melted. Finn tried to make everything right and I go out and get drunk and bring the one friend that my fiancé hates to our home. I hate the feeling of guilt and pain when they mixed together it's almost enough to make you stop breathing, that's how im feeling right now. My fiancé isn't at home, he was so mad last night that he left the comforts of his own home to get away from me. I wish life had a rewind button, so I could go back and pin point the moment when being with Finn was hard. When it changed from something that was almost made to fit me, to this point. The horrible place we are right now, I fight to have his eyes and mind on me and scared to think he'll leave me so I push him away. Finn is my soul mate, he's everything that is good about me I get from being with him. So I don't understand when something as simple as love became something so difficult as this.

I climb the stairs to our bedroom and lay on his side, just to get the chance to smell his fragrance. I stay for awhile because I'm almost afraid that I won't smell it again. I'm woken up next by our alarm and I force myself out of the bed and on the mission to finding Finn, although I kind of have a guess of where he might be.

I down a few pain pills and start on my way to the office, I don't know what scared me more the idea that I'll get there and he won't talk to me. Of the idea that I get there and he does talk to me and the only thing he has to say is that he's done with me. But this is Finn right? He wouldn't do that to me ..i mean under everything that has been going on. He loves me more then anything else in this world and that is something I know for a fact.

I knock lightly at his door, "Finn? Can I come in?" he doesn't say anything but I can tell by the couch he was here last night," I want to say that I'm sorry for last night I over reacted yesterday in your office and that was wrong and I handled the situation wrong… and I think that whatever this is, the things that making it so hard for us. I think we can make it through." He lefts his head and I cant tell what emotion is running through his head, until I see what that I recognize. And he finally breaks his silence. " I do too Rach.. I think we can make it through anything if we both care enough to acknowledge our own fault and work together to fix them." I can hear the sadness in his voice and I want nothing more then to wrap my arms around him and never let him go. When I hear someone knock on the door I could tell he was scared that I might walk away but I gave his a nod telling him that it was alright.

"Yes, who is it?" he called and I would like to know, it's the weekend people should be sleep at this time.

"Its me Scott the janitor I have something for you."

"Come in." the little old man came walking by this Finns jacket in hand. "Sir, Ashley told me that she had to leave early and you were still sleep so to give you your jacket back and to say thank you for letting her wear it last-"

I don't listen to the rest of the conversation; I just slowly walk away with my head down in defeat. When the elevator open and lets me out to find my car tears start to roll down my face, this is what heartbreak feels like. He was with her, here last night and we could have been in our house. This is what losing your soul mate feels like.

* * *

**Soooooo.. what do you guys think? **

**also tell me what you guys think about doing a flashback chapter! I really want to hear your thoughts.**

**please review!**


	4. it deepens within

**Oh my goodness, I am so sorry guys! thank you for reviewing and alerting it means so much! This chapter is only Rachels POV and if you haven't read WTSS you don't have to just go back and read about the Rachel and Brody situation! But this also kind of answers what happened to make them go down the rode they are one, I don't tell EXACTLY what it is because I do plan on them having a conversation about it and I don't want to make you guys read it twice. Also I wanted to let you guys know this story is going to be pretty long I have a lot that I want to do with it. Right now we are def in the sad and angst part but later I want to bring in the finchel love and happiness that I think we all need! **

* * *

I'd been staying at Lisa's for 3 days before I decided I needed to get out of New York completely, he's call, I knew he would. I don't answer, I don't have anything to say.. I messed this up, I just hope he finds someone who can make him happy and not let things get in the way of their love. I just hope he's happy.

Getting on the plane to Lima was like drowning myself, I saw my life flash before my eyes and yet I didn't do anything to stop it. In fact, I put myself on this plane and in this state of utter depression, I don't know why I'm in Lima right now I just feel like I'm shit right now and last time I checked this is the place that made me feel like that the most. Call it poetic, call is dramatic its probably just insane but whatever.

Walking into my old house felt the same, like the ghost of my past was waiting for me so it can attach itself and drag any happiness I had left out and destroy it. I just lay in my bed.. I don't move.

"Well if it isn't my very own Berry, sometime said they saw you running in here with your tail tucked between your legs after the big apple chewed you up and spit you right back to Lima but I had to see it for myself."

"Nice to see you to Santana." If I wasn't in such a horrible mood I would be ecstatic to see my best friend, it really has been too long.

"Don't get me wrong I love seeing you, but why are you here? And by the look of the damn iceberg, why are you alone?" I've kept things from Santana, like I have most people in my life, other then Finn. He's the only person who knows me."I messed up Santana, I have an amazing life and I let a moment in my life take it away, I let it destroy me more then once. I don't know if I can fix it." By the end of the sentence I was in tears. "Well that's not cryptic and creepy at all." She's right I sound like I really bad poet. "Finn love you Rachel, you and half the world knows that.."

"I've kept something wrong his and that something turned me into a crazy fiancé that thinks he cheats and never pays attention to me, none of that matters. I know he would never cheat on me.. I just don't understand why he wants me San? Were both messed up.. but I don't get how he could want me. So I run around New York, getting drunk with my friend Alex that ust so happens to be the one friend that Finn isn't very comfortable with I just ruined everything Santana I pushed him away and I think it's over." She knew I wasn't going to continue, she crawled in the bed next to me and wrapped her arms around me, they are Finns, but I might not ever get Finns arms around me. I could feel my breathing slow down and I close my eyes to only be faced with the memory that ruined my relationship.

_"__I'll have a coke!" I sit at the bar and pull out my Ipad to continue strolling my NYADA chat room. I pull out my phone to send my fiancé a text message since he's been working so hard lately and I know how important this deal is, they don't have the faith in him that they should because he is so young. But after pulling off this deal and opening up the next few restaurants and hotels he's proposed I know they will see him as a leader._

**_Love you Finny! _**

**_I love you too Rach..see you back at home?"_**

**_Of course! No where else I rather be!_**

_"__Well if it isn't New York most ..well we both know how that sentence ends." My blood turns to ice and my heart stops, he can't be here. _

_"__Brody" I say below a whisper as I turn around to face the man that still hunts my nightmares._

_"__I would ask if this seat is taken, but we both know I don't like asking, I much rather just take." I could feel him taking the seat next to me and my heart beating against my chest louder then thunder."I've been watching you Rachel." He says in a voice that makes me ill. "You always were my favorite pet, you know I stayed with you longer then I have ever stayed with one of my pets. You should feel honored." He places his hand on my knee and started to move his thumb in a circular motion, I want to jump up and slap him across his face whipping that stupid smirk off his face. But I don't I just sit there silent like the obedient pet I once was. Old habits die hard.__ " __I see you are very wealthy now, I like that.. to think I had something to do with that. I'm sure the nights we spent together taught you enough to bring this Finn guy to great pleasure." _

_"__You had nothing to do with Finn and i." I stutter out, hoping not to let him hear the fear in my voice. " Everything you do has something to do with me Rachel, now lets talk about our new arrangement." _

"Rachel! RACHEL CAN YOU HEAR ME!" I open my eyes to see Santana staring at me with fear and tears in her eyes, I reach up to see that I have been crying too. "I'm so sorry Santana, I didn't mean to scare you I guess I had a bad dream." I close my eyes to see be greeted with Brodys smile, I open them and shake my head. "It's ok.. um..do you want to talk about it?" I can tell I must have said something in my sleep to make her worry more then normal, but I can't telling her makes it real. If anything the first person that deserves to know is Finn. " I can't let him so Santana, Finn is everything good in my life. I know he loves me. Even if I don't deserve if, but I have to fight for him, right? I cant just let him go.. " I don't know when I started crying or if I ever stopped, before she was pulling me into her arms. " Rachel, I don't think you ever have to worry about that." I pull out her arms and look her in the eyes, "After I tell him the truth, I might not ever hear from him again."

* * *

**Cliff hanger? that's rude right? lol sorry guys I just wanted her to have her own chapter, I feel like WTSS was a lot about Finn and over coming his demons and I think this story while it will always be a finchel story I wanted to focus on her more. Next chapter Finn will def be back I cant stay away from him, I would say we have a few more heart wrenching chapters and then the rainbows and stuff will come out lol! thank you guys for sticking around it means so much.**

**ALSO, it will be more flashbacks but I really like telling the past while not going completely back and leaving the present, if that makes sense?!**

**Anyways.. So please tell me what you think, I hope it's living up the expectations. like I said we have awhile to go and a lot to discuss and really I'm so excited that if I could I would sit down and write it all right now.. holy crap im rambling haha! anways!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I ****need**** to know what you guys are thinking !**


	5. didnt see that coming

**I kind of love this chapter. I hope you guys do too. So reviews? those would be awesome!**

* * *

I haven't seen or spoken to my fiancé in over a week, she was there, we we're talking in my office. I look up and she's gone. I try to act like maybe she just needed some time, Puck told me she was in Lima, so I know whatever is bothering her and causing this rip in our relationship, has to be huge if she actually went back there. I just hope one day she talks to me about it. When we first got here three years ago, she didn't have a problem adapting, she loved this place and I loved seeing that amazing megawatt smile on her face at all times. I missed her when she was at school or at the apartment, she was never there actually after everyone figured out she wasn't a struggling actress, she found good friends – still don't like the Alex dude, sue me.- they didn't care, they don't use her, they don't make her pay when they go out for drinks but I don't think that's crazy, Puck makes me still, sometimes I'm not even there, he just puts in under my name and I get the bill.

We spent almost half a year decorating the house, she wanted to make sure we both we're apart of it. We talked about children, but I wanted her to make all her dreams come true. Sometimes I still see her walking past the room we decided would be the nursery; she doesn't want to touch it. When everything was amazing and we we're happy, I could see the longing in her eyes for a baby, then I would remind her of Broadway and longing was still there, but it was less.

That's the finchel I miss, when movie night was just us, and I could spend all day lost in her and no phone calls would break us apart, I love that the company is doing so well, and I know that one day she changed but not everything is on her, but I know some of whatever is happening is me too. I should have tried to fix it as soon as it became a problem, when she started coming home less. But I was never at home at that point so who knew it was happening, honestly?

I'm starting to see where she was going with the whole Ashley thing, she started to get really weird after the night we both ended up at the office, yeah I'm a little slow when things like that happen, but anyways she started the touching and the flirting and it was a lot and I didn't like it. So I moved her, she an assistant to one of the manager s in one of my hotels I don't know, I just wanted her gone. Rachel saw her as a threat so I took her away, the lady that replaced her, she's nice and married with like a million kids. I think Rachel will appreciate that. I just want her to be happy, so I can be happy. I want her to talk to me.

I got off work early today I don't know why, I could have stayed like I have been because nothing sucks worse them coming home to a empty house. But I'm tired of running from my life, she'll come back. No matter what I know she will.

Coming home, it sounds weird after spending a few days in Lima, I really hate that place. Finn came home a few hours ago, I was parked in the back so he didn't see me, I've just been sitting in the car. I miss him, I want everything to go back to how it was, but I also know it cant unless I tell him everything and I don't want to. I want to rewind time and not be at the bar –although I'm sure Brody would have found me anyways- I want to see that smile and the light in his eyes are that's only for me. If we make it through this, I'm giving the apartment to Lisa. I don't want to be away from him anymore, if he forgives me. I don't know what's going to happen when I walk inside the house, what if he has all my stuff packed up and waiting for me? I couldn't be mad, he would have every right. I did just leave and not talk to him.

If its one thing I love about Finn, he's forgiving, I just never thought I was going to be someone he would have to forgive.

The house is quite, I don't see any boxes and it seems like my stuff is still here, that's a ..good thing? Or is he going to make me pack my own stuff. I can hear him in our room, he's probably watching t.v. and hasn't even noticed that I'm here. Moment of truth, does he hate me have a completely ruined or relationship?

"Hi" brilliant Rachel, after all this time, you see him and you say hi. I can't tell the emotion that spreads through his face, it looks like anger but then sadness too.

"Hey" Ok, I wasn't expecting that, I figured it would be a lot of really bad words, but hey isn't bad, means…? Not sure what it means.

"How was Lima? Found what you were looking for?" I should have known he would know where I've been, I saw Puck a few times. "Still sucks. How has everything been here?" Maybe bringing up the fact that I don't know because I haven't been here wasn't such a good idea, but I didn't want to the conversation to stop. " Good, I made some changes and got a lot done. So, why are you back?" that hurt, it's a legit question but it still really hurts hearing your fiancé? Ask why your home." For you, I miss you.. and I miss us. I know that sounds dumb-"

"It doesn't sound dumb Rach." Again he's forgiving, and it makes everything easier, but I don't deserve easy I wish he would just yell at me. I try my luck and easy over to the bed, and slide off my shoes, we might not be at the best place in our relationship but I miss our bed and I miss him and his smell and the bed is covered in that amazing smell and him laying there just makes it better. " I love you Finn, and no matter what. If we don't make it, if you tell me to leave right now, I'll still love you." I don't know if that was what I wanted to say but it ended up coming out. "I'm not making you leave. I know something has happened, and it sucks that you don't feel like you can tell me. But I also know you and when things happen it takes you awhile to say what it is. I love you too Rach, nothing in this world can change that, I'll wait. Like I always have and when you're ready, I'll listen, but I can't keep going on like this, you leave I don't hear from you and when you're here all we do is argue it's exhausting, I've made mistakes, the company pulls so much of my time away from you that it's taken months for us to even have this conversation and that's my fault I was so caught up in everything being successful that I let the important things in my life slip away." This is the man I fell in love with and I wish more then anything the woman in front of him was the one he fell for, and not someone keeping a secret from him. "Can you hold me, please?" I know I don't deserve it, but I need it, he simply just nods his head and takes me in his arm.

I knew tonight would be ending in me crying, I just didn't think it was be wrapped in his arms while he's telling me he loves me.

* * *

**Sooo.. are we liking where we are going with this? if its a lot of typos, I'm sorry I wanted to get this chapter out but I also had to make dinner and stuff. **

**I would really love reviews! **

**thank you guys for everything!**


	6. pretending

**Another chapter, a bit of a filler but I wanted somethings to happen and somethings to be said so that when it all ties together I can make sure nothing was left out.**

**still with me?**

When I open my eyes to see her laying next to me the memory of last night starts to come back, I do love her and I'll wait until she's ready to tell me, but I can't wait forever. I need her back, I miss what it's like to have her. Maybe it was the right time, but I needed her and when I kissed her she melted into me and for the moments we spent wrapped in each other it didn't hurt and I forgot that she was keeping something from me. Feeling her come undone under me sent me into my own ecstasy and no words were spoken while we she laid wrapped in my arms.

When my alarm went off I simply kissed her on the head and moved to start getting ready for the day, I knew she wanted to talk about it I could tell everything I caught her looking at me. Pretending everything was okay was a job within it's self but she needed the time and I wanted to give it to her, if that meant letting her keep her secret then so be it. After awhile the silence was too much so I decided I would be the one to break it. " I moved Ashley, she no longer works directly under me, my new assistant is sweet I think you guys would get along great. She loves to talk about her children and show picture I know you love to look at pictures so I think you would like her." I could hear her give a slight giggle, " I do enjoy looking at baby pictures." I look to see she's smiling and it's a genuine smile, it's been awhile since I've seen one of those.

" I'll be late tonight I'm going to have to go around and get all my make up work that I've missed, but I was thinking about cooking tonight." I could tell she was nervous on my reaction and I hated that we were so tense around each other. "Sounds good baby." I lean down to give her a kiss on her cheek and say goodbye.

Out of everything I've gone through in my life, I think this is the worst, I don't feel comfortable it's like I'm living a lie, walking on egg shells around my own home. When my phone starts to ring it takes me back to reality that no matter what's going on at home I still have a job to do.

" Dude, you need to fly me out there." Of course that's how Puck would answer the phone, " Or you could fly yourself out, I think I pay you enough for that." It's true I pay him way too much but he's good at his job so I cant complain. "Yeah but I'm coming to help you out, I just got off the phone with Santana she told me some stuff about when Rachel was here I think it's worse then we think."

"I talked to her last night, I'm going to give her some space and let her come to me, I don't want to hear it from you who heard it from Santana, I want to hear it from her." I know I should be jumping to hear what he has to say but that's not how we work. " I can respect that, good for you Hudson, just do me a favor?

"What's up?

"Take care of her, and yourself too." The phone beeps out and he's gone, not knowing what's going on with her and what's changing my life with her is going to drive me insane. I don't know how long I can handle it.

* * *

I don't deserve him, I can see it in his eyes how much this is all killing him. I wish I could tell him that it's killing me too. This morning was great I missed him but I also know it was his way of telling me how much he loves me, I could feel it. It was fast and needing sex, he made loving passionate sex to the person he loves, which only made the feeling of guilt in my stomach hurt more. When my phone vibrates I hope nothing more then it being Finn, I know he just left but I feel like I need to be talking to him at all times now, just to know he's not going to leave me it sounds crazy but everything in my life right now is. When I see that it's Brody I almost want to cry:

**_I'm going to need you tonight_**

**_I can't tonight Brody, sorry._**

**_That's not part of our deal_**

**_Part of the deal was I got to always pick Finn over you to keep the peace and to make sure the deal stays in place, he needs me tonight Brody so, no._**

**_Fine, next time I need you, your ass better be available._**

I start to cry by the time the last text is sent and I go about deleting the messages, this is my life. Lies and covering my lies, how did this even happen?

_"__We don't have anything to talk about Brody I told you last week at the bar when I got up and walked away from you, I don't know if you your deaf or just plan stupid. I don't owe you anything and I don't have any reason to play into this. I'm not a little girl anymore and my father doesn't own me."_

_It's been a week since Brody first approached me inside the bar telling me I was his favorite pet and he wanted to proposed a new arrangement, not he's standing outside my school's dance studio waiting for me with a evil grin on his face that I want nothing more to slap right off._

_"__But you do have a pretty rich and well known fiancé and I think me and you could work out something that can help me and help you guys..like I said Rachel, I missed my favorite pet."_

_"__I am not a damn pet Brody and I would never cheat on Finn, are you insane? Its nothing that we need from you I can promise you that, are you insane? Seriously you have to be to think that we would need anything from a low life like you"_

_"__I would never ask you to cheat on him it would mess with my plan, but trust me you will change your mind." He says laughing and walking away, I don't know what he means by that but it sent nothing but fear through me._

"Why are you just sitting on the bench staring at people." I snap my head to see Lisa standing besides me with a confused look on her face, " I was thinking, can I not think?" She was right though I probably look like a creep. " No by all means think, but do it somewhere that doesn't make it look like you people watching." I know she wants me to talk about it, and sometimes I find myself about to open up and tell her, but I just don't think I can.

"Well I just came to get all my make up work I better head on the store so I can make dinner tonight." I say standing up and packing my stuff into my bag. "Dinner? With Finn?" I don't know why she's asking me that, who else would I be making dinner for." Yes Lisa, with Finn."

"OH MY GOD! YES! I knew you guys would work it out!" She's always defiantly been team finchel, it's one of the things I love most about her, whenever we argue she's always the one to tell me how we'll make it through and we aren't meant for each other, more then ever I need her positivity right now.

"We'll we aren't there yet but I hope to be, soon." She still has that smile on her face, and I almost forget how messed up everything truly is. " it will be Rachel! Finchel is Forever, or that's atleast what you guys tell me right?" I nod my head and hug her before saying goodbye. Finchel is forever, I really hope that's true.

* * *

**I love Rachels and Lisa's friendship everyone needs that one friend that just happy all the time and tells you how it is when you need to be told, she's that for Rachel!**

**Ok so you guys got a little insight to the Brody situation I just really wanted to clarify that no cheating happened so I had to put that in there!**

**tell me what you guys are thinking..like I said before we are going to see two different side the angst side and then the perfect (put still a little drama) side of Finchel, that part will come after the secret and everything is out.**

**Reviews are love 3**


	7. party for the weak

**So I started writing and then it ended up being Finns POV only. Anyways, thank you guys for the alerts and reviews it means so much to me and I know I say that every time but it's true! **

**So thank you!**

* * *

I haven't smiled this hard in months, and I most definitely haven't laughed this hard. But here I am sitting at my engagement party that I didn't know I was having, two bottles of wine down and smile on my face that I haven't put there by force. The tension between my soon-to-be wife and I only grows with the days that past by and the guilty that slowly creeps on her face. The first few week the 'pretending' to be happy and me trying to fuck my pain away, that started not to work so I moved my stuff into one of the spare rooms. She didn't ask, but that night I heard her crying, and yes I wanted to go in and wrap my arms around her. But the anger and feeling of the one person you love on this earth keeping something from you, stopped me and I drifted off to sleep with her sobbing in the next room.

A month later and here we are, at our surprise engagement party I haven't actually seen her for about an hour, but if I'm feeling like this I can only imagine how she's feeling. I'm sure they are berating her with questions about when she is going to start planning, I know my mother has asked enough for everyone.

"Dude, you ok?" Puck came up for the party I'm actually pretty surprised I thought he would have thought this was lame, but here he is being a actual good friend and making me finally loosen up and not to mention helping me with these bottles off, which is exactly what I needed. "Yeah man, I'm okay just got lost in my own thoughts." Which is true, I feel good for once maybe I can make it out of this with my sanity, and hopefully my girl too.

"BABY!" and maybe I spoke to soon, the moment I heard her yell baby I knew she had, had enough to drink about an hour ago and unfortunately no one decided to stop her. Drinking has proven to be how she is coping with everything, it's like she has forgotten everything I put us through back in Lima, "Hey Rach, think you ready to go home?" I ask her while she links our fingers together as if we do this everyday and everything between us is fine, I don't stop it or pull away. I miss it, I miss her touch and sometimes just being reminded of that is good too. "Are you coming with me?" I know what she means and the answer is no, I might be coming to the house but I would be getting in the bed and wrapping my arms around her, but I know I need to get her out of here before she does do something. "Yeah Rachel, me too." I can see the excitement fill her face and the only thing I can think about is 'that's the girl i'm in love with.' We say our thank yous and goodbyes, and start our 45 minute drive to the house, she falls asleep holding my hand almost before we get to the first red light.

"Where are we?" Is the first thing she says to me after I carry her in the house and start to get her undressed so I can put her in the bed. "Home" I walk over and hand her some pajamas and start to undo my tie. " Finn" the sadness that lines her voice is enough to make me stop in my tracks, "Yes" Because for once I think I'm tired of being difficult. "I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean to get drunk at our engagement party, and I really didn't want it to end with you taking care of me." I know she thinks it's a huge deal but it's not, "That's what you do when you love someone." And I continue to walk into the bathroom and get ready for a shower.

"TALK TO ME! PLEASE!" She might have sobered up a little in the car but I can tell by how she's yell at me after I closed the bathroom door, she's not sober enough for this conversation. "Rachel-" *THUD* I'm pretty sure she just threw a shoe at the door, she's definitely not sober enough for this conversation. "RACHEL! Stop!" I rip the door open and she's standing there with tears falling down her face."Please baby just stop, your drunk and we really shouldn't have this conversation."

"I'm fine Finn, just please look at me at least."

"No." I can hear her gasp.

"No?"

"No, because I'm not going to look at you like this, you're a fucking mess right now. I don't want to look at you like this. When you sober up, WHENEVER THE FUCK THAT WILL BE! Then we can talk, because I'm not talking to you when you're drunk." It's not the best way of talking to her, but I can't stand to see someone that is so together be so undone.

"Why are you saying that like I'm always drunk? I do not drink that much."

"Wow, are you drinking so much that forgetting what you're doing? Because that's really pathetic then Rachel."

She starts laughing and I know that whatever is about to happen is about to be really bad, this is why I didn't want to have this conversation when she's drunk.

"That's fucking gold Finn, are you saying I have a problem with my drinking? I guess a fucking addict would know what that would look like?"

Yes, my heart broke and yes I could hear her say how sorry she is and she didn't mean to say it. But it's a lot of things you can change, but words are forever.

"I'm going to bed. I love you Rachel." I lean and kiss her forehead, because I don't know where tonight is going to leave us.

" Finn, please.. I don't .. I – please.. Just .. let me tell you, because if you leave me tonight, and after what I just said. I didn't mean, and you know I didn't mean it. And yes I have been drinking and I just, Finn.. I just want our old life back, the happy one? The one we had when we first got here"

I don't know when we moved or when I started to cry, but sitting on the bed looking at her trying to find a place that to start and seeing the pain pass through her face.

"Maybe I shouldn't forgive you Rachel, and if I ever left you. It wouldn't be for what you just said, I am who I am, I hate it but I own up to it. If I left it would be because I cant stand the feeling of being the only person left in this relationship that actually give a damn. So if you want to tell me now then yes please I'm here to listen, but don't tell me because you feel like it's going to change anything that has happened tonight." She slightly nods her head, "I want to tell you, Finn. Please just promise you'll hear me out and know that what I did, I did for us."

I take her hand in mine, because something tells me that it might be the last time for awhile, or forever.

"I'll listen to you."

"I love you Finn, I always will." I know she's thinking the same thing, no matter how strong our bond is, something's can't be fixed. "I love you too Rachel" I can tell when she takes a deep breath that my whole times is about to be rocked.

" A few months back…"

* * *

**Don't kill me! I know that is the worst cliffhanger, ever! but I think I want the whole conversation and blowout to be its own chapter! that's NEXT BTW!**

**Tell me how you guys like it?**

**Also, I know Rachel said something's that are not cool, but I didn't the conversation to get super intense where the relationship had to be pushed to the breaking point. I hope you guys can forgive me and her lol**

**Finns been a trooper, I wonder how he'll handle Brody being in the picture.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	8. cant do anything

**yay! for days off gives me time to write! anyways this chapter is the big one... but its going to get deeper.**

**So tell me how you guys are feeling!**

**:)**

* * *

Its like having a out of body experience everything slows down and you are looking in on your life as it slowly starts to crumble and your heart is breaking in front of you. _"__I did everything for us, he was going to tell everything, and no one could know Finn." _I don't even know if I'm responding to her, or just sitting here like an idiot, and idiot that has been betrayed and I think I might be completely broken. "_After Brody's dad died he did have any money, he found out about you taking over the company and the money and he saw us as a target."_ I don't know if he's touched her or even if we are together anymore? I know I love Rachel more than anything in this world, but this pain is something I never thought she would make me feel.

"Did you sleep with him?" I can see the shook flash over her face followed after calm because the question wasn't farfetched. For months, _months _he touched her and if he's back and they have a new arrangement why wouldn't that be a part of it. Now that the prospect of taking something valuable from her is gone he would love to finally be with her in the way I've been with her.

"No, I never slept with her, in the hotels he slept on the bed."

"THE HOTEL? WHAT THE FUCK?" I have no idea what is happening, is she saying they spent time in a hotel together? Why "Rachel, can you just explain to me what the fuck is going on? Everything.. I'd like to know if we have a relationship or not?" I could visually see her tense and almost break at my words, I don't want our relationship to end but from what I've heard, can we even fix it?

"Ok.,.ok Finn, like I said his father died and he saw us as a target, he approached me one day with a new arrangement and in return the months I spent as his hands would go unknown to the world. He knew how the news would spread with us being in the public eye and hearing that the person you're in love with was a whore for a lack of a better world. I told him no one would believe him, he told me once the secret was out if wouldn't matter because the public believes the worse of people and they love gossip. I couldn't let him do it, Finn. Not to us, not to you. So he proposed me being his new business partner, I had the money and we just pretended to be a couple and people saw it as they could trust us. They felt as if a rich loving couple would be the best to handle their money and other things. So I agreed and that's what I've been doing."

"Behind my back…"

"Yes."

I've had a lot of times in my life where I figured that my life could get worse and whatever was handed to me I could pull myself together and everything would be ok if I just kept pushing. This isn't one of those times, this is the time where I find out that mu fiancé has been sneaking around with her abuser pretty much giving him the money from our account and pretending to be his girlfriend while they make rich people richer and poor people poorer which I know for a fact she hates more then anything. She has dedicated more times than I can count to helping different charities. Not by just sending a check but she goes and passes out food, read to the children, help people with their résumés. Rachel is that kind of person, that's the amazing and incredible humble person I fell so deeply in love with. Now…I don't know what I see when I look at her.

"I could have handled it, if it got out… Your secret. I don't care that the company would have taken a few blows. I would have shut down a few places and kept going, but this Rachel? This I can't handle." I don't even know what that means to be honest...are we over? My anger alone is telling me to run and never look back, but my heart? It screams Rachel, like it always has and I'm starting to think it always will. I don't want to make a decision right now, I can't because if I make the wrong one I don't think I could ever be okay with having a regret. What if I forgive her and the relationship is like the ones I see around me, no trust and lies. What if I leave her and I can't handle her being gone that I completely break down into nothing.

"Are you s-saying we're over Finn?" She says to me while I'm grabbing my keys and coat. I can hear her crying and I don't know why but it just made me so mad, she did this!

"You don't get to do that, you don't get to cry..You destroyed us! Not me!" The harshness of my voice was enough to make her jump and that was enough to break whatever part of my heart I had left. "I don't know what it means Rachel, but I can't be here right now. Not with you." And before I could give her a chance to respond I was out the house and in my car driving away from fiancé wondering if this is the last time I'll ever get to call her that.

* * *

I've never seen that look in his eyes before, at least not pointed towards me. It was hate almost like being around me was the worst thing he could possibly be doing. I don't blame him, why would he want to be around me? I lied to him, and yes I still think that I was protecting him, but maybe I could have told him but what could Finn have done? Everything would have come out, he would have worked all that time to get the people at the company to respect him and they would have lost every ounce of respect when they found out about me. I would have ruined his life with my past; I would have become a joke to the people around us. What if we had kids? They would have eventually found out about their mother and this man name Brody, I couldn't let that happen.

I say in our living room just staring at the door, trying to will him to come walking back through the door. After two hours I finally let a sob escape my mouth and the pain I had been holding back tear through me. He's not going to walk through the door and I don't know when the next time he will, he might not ever.

Before I knew it I was pulling out my phone calling the only person I need to talk to, after spending the few weeks I did with her I know it's time to let Santana in on everything. She wouldn't judge me if anything she might try to kill Brody and at this moment I'm not 100% opposed to the idea.

"If I book you a flight, can you make it out here?" is the first thing I ask her when she answers the phone, I don't think I could fake it long enough to make it through the hello's. " I'm packing right now! Text me the flight details and ill be there Berry! See ya!" and like that she was gone. If it's one person that I haven't ruined it's here. I get on the computer and book her flight and send her the info also informing her that someone will be waiting for her to bring her to the house.

I look outside to see it's the early in the morning and I haven't slept all night. Between the party and the argument I didn't realized how much time was flying by and leaving me. Walking into our room I was immediately assaulted by his smell he'd start sleeping in the guest room awhile back but our room still was bathed in his smell, the bed the bathroom the closet. I could never get away for it, it was wrong but what I needed right now was something almost overwhelming. So I closed our door and walked down the hall to where he had just been laying not even a day ago and I was right, when I got into the bed it was almost like he was laying right there the smell was so strong, _almost_. Nothing will ever beat the real thing, I let the covers completely engulf me and I started to feel my eyes burn even more. It was as if I was crying too much that my eyes actually hurt.

"Pull yourself together Rachel, it's not way you're going to lose him. Give him time to calm down and then you guy plead your case." I tell myself. It's not like Finn said we were over right? I mean that has to mean something. He didn't put me out and tell me to never speak to him again; he left which has to mean he plans on coming back right? This is his home after all. My phone starts to vibrate and I couldn't help but get my hopes up, to only be shot down by a text from Lisa.

_"__It was a beautiful party last night Rachel, love you guys"_ was the caption to the picture she sent of me and Finn from the night before with his arms wrapped around me. Any resolve I had was broken, it was over. I had officially left Brody ruin my life.

* * *

**See? no cheating Rachel, but not very good Rachel. **

**Anyways.. I hope you guys like the big secret, why did I make that the secret? because I always felt like Brody in the show did nothing for who Rachel really is, and this is my way of showing it.**

**Reviews are love so..REVIEW **


	9. romeo and juliet

**I wanted to get this chapter out asap, in dedication to Cory's birthday. Today has been hard and we miss you more then anything in this world. You truly are the worlds best hero and I love you.**

**With that being said, I hope you guys enjoy. its prob a few mistakes and I'm sorry about that.**

**I don't own anything, not the song romeo and Juliet that belongs to the killers and glee, belongs to RIB so...here you go!**

* * *

_"__A love struck Romeo, sings the streets a serenade,Laying everybody low, with a love song that he made  
He finds the street light, steps out of the shade 'n' says something like, "You and me babe, how about it?"_

"Ok dude I get It." Puck says turning off the music. "You're sad, and you miss Berry. Have you ever thought about just calling her? I mean you've been in the hotel for three weeks. The whole time you've been crying, I think it's safe to say that whatever you are mad about her about, you're over it." He's sort of right, I'm still mad at Rachel, I mean who wouldn't be? But being honest with myself I'd forgive her for everything. She didn't sleep with him, but she did lie? I could have protected her..doesn't she get that by now? I'll always protect her, I don't care if I have to sale everything we own. I'd do it for her. "Yeah we'll it's not that easy, like you said it's been three weeks I doubt she even wants to speak to me." About a week ago I went to the house and when I opened the door all I could hear was her sobs coming from the guest room, I didn't have to guess why she was in there. When I'm gone she loves to lay in my spot and considering I had moved to the guest room that is the closest thing to my spot right now. It was all to hard, so I walked away. I am a coward and I know that. "I need her man. After all the bullshit we've been through, I still need her. Did I tell you the nightmares came back?" For awhile the nightmares of my father controlled my life, I couldn't sleep and when I did it wouldn't last. But when we moved and Rachel was laying by me every night they just **_stopped _**that was how I knew she was the one I was mean to marry. Two weeks later and I was down on my knee asking her to marry me, those are the moments that have gotten me through these past few weeks. The good times, times when it was just us and no lies.

"Even your subconscious is trying to tell you something man, You and Berry are one in a million, two fucked up souls that found each other and now you guys can barely function without the other one. Who do you think called me and got my ass out here? Santana! Because she over there with Rachel and you guys are both a mess, so please do us all a favor and get up!" He slams the door behind him, I'm glad Santana is with Rachel, she need someone that isn't me. She can't talk to me anymore, I don't blame her. But I at least have to take the first step into making this right. I have to know why everything turned out this way, why did we have to go through something like this? It's crap! We have gone through more shit in our lives then most people can think and all we wanted was to come here and live a normal life! It's not fair.. and it's not fair for Brody to come and ruin everything!

"Puck!" for once in my life I'm not laying down and seeing how things play out I'm taking care of everything and I'm going to get my fiancé back. "Yeah Hudson?"

" I need you to find someone, His name is Brody Weston."

"Do I want to know?"

"Nope, and if you did I still wasn't going to tell him." I can't let anyone know who he is to Rachel, I just need to him to go away.

"You got it boss." And with that he was gone.

Not the hard part, because Brody and dealing with him is going to be like a walk in the park. Getting my fiancé to forgive me, it's going to take awhile along with a lot of begging. I pull out my phone and find her name;

_Hey I was hoping we could talk?-finn_

* * *

"You have to tell him Rachel, it's been three weeks and yes I understand why he's mad and why your scared to talk to him but this is big, like huge! And I don't think that the way for him to get past you hiding something from him is to hide something else from him." Santana has been here for three weeks I tried to get her to leave so she could get back to her life but after I told her the Brody situation the old and new she refuses to leave. She hasn't picked a side she think Finn and I are both right in some way and both wrong. She doesn't like that I lied to him, she has came out and told me that a million times and I agree, knowing Finn he would have handled it I guess I just panicked and being around Brody makes me feel powerless. I never want to feel like that again, I just want my life back I don't know what I'm going to do about Brody and honestly I don't care anymore. I want Finn, I want him to hold me at night and tell me everything is going to be okay and more then anything I want to feel him again,

"Rachel…"

"Ok Santana I know but right now it's the best time I mean I haven't talked to him since he left he would answer anything I've literally stalked him and NOTHING has been said back to me."

"Rachel.. i-"

"I know you think I'm being crazy and I should just walk over there and tell him and hope that he fall into my arms but it cant be like that it has to be us being happy and working through our stuff."

"HE TEXTED YOU."

"WHAT? Don't mess with me Lopez! That is mean." It is a week ago she told me he was on the phone and when I started to run she just took a picture of me in my face mask and my hair rollers, she's an evil one.

"No I'm serious look." She says handing me my phne, and there it is a text from my fiancé, saying we should talk. And I have no idea what to do.. I mean I've waited for this and I never thought about what I would say if it happened. Does this mean he's forgiven me? Or is this him telling me he wants me out the house and to give the ring back. I stop to just run my thumb over my ring, he can't take that away from me.

"Now is the time to tell him Rachel, ask him to meet you somewhere say something don't just stare at it.." She's right I have to at least respond.

_I would like that, do you want to meet somewhere?-Rach_

_I'll come home, do you mind asking Santana to step out, tell her she can have the card and the guest car and it's on me –Finn_

"Santana! He said you can have the card and the car while he comes over and talks what do you think that means?" I can't get to excited, him not wanting Santana here can mean a lot of things, still him putting me out a great possibility, but he wouldn't do that. He might be pissed but he would never do that to me.

"Who cares I just got handed a shit load of money and a nice new Range Rover, when is this little date of yours happening?" I didn't even think of that… is this a date?

_Yes she can be out for awhile, when would you like to come…I'm free whenever-Rach_

Maybe I shouldn't sound do eager, but I am. I want to see him I know we aren't just going to kiss and everything be okay but I miss him just being around me.

_I can be over in about two hours… umm I miss you Rach-finn_

_I miss you too Finn!-Rach_

"I know you're going to tell him right? I mean he must not hate you that much if he's telling you he misses you? Hey! Why are you crying this is a good thing? She ask while coming to wrap her arms around me. This is a good thing, he misses me. He might want to work this all out.

"I just don't know how I'm going to tell him San?"

"Simple, just say hey guess what? I'm carrying your huge child."

I always thought the moment I told him I was pregnant he would be waiting outside the bathroom for me to come out with the stick and he would pick me up and swing me around, I didn't think it would be like this, but what other choice do I have? I'm already two months along and I can't hide anything else from him.

So hopefully tonight he forgive me and when I tell him I'm pregnant he's happy, because underneath everything he still loves me and I know he's going to love this baby.

* * *

**I hope you guys liked it, I usually don't do the pregnancy thing because it's been done over and over but I want to see Finn be a good father! So yay! and like I said I told you guys I wouldn't keep them apart for long.**

**Please Review it means a lot.**

**Happy Birthday Cory!**


	10. the problem

**hey guys! sorry it's been awhile... I knew what I wanted this chapter to consist of just didn't know how to put it. anyways..thanks for hanging in there with me :) **

* * *

Its awkward, and uncomfortable. Its never been like that around Rachel, we would sit in silence and it wouldn't phase up one bit. I don't know where to start, I feel every emotional almost, but I don't want to argue I want us to figure everything out and I want to be here. Its my home. Our home. I'm my best when I'm with her and my weakest without her, I've been running a company for week in a fog signing papers and taking calls not even honestly listening to the people who at one point I would stop in the middle of a conversation with Rachel to take their calls.

"Do you still love me?" Rachel finally says breaking the silence, I should be grateful since I didn't have enough guts to do so. But I've never been good with words and It hasn't changed. But why that question? Its like she doesn't know that the reason I'm even alive is because one day a tiny brunette ran into me in he woods and changed my life.

"I'll always love you Rachel, nothing can change that." I reply finally turning to look her in the eyes.

"Are you still IN love with me Finn? I imagine that it hurt when I told you and that maybe you see me differently, but I want you to know that I did it because at the time I didn't know I had another option. I didn't want to be the reason your company went under. You have been through so much and I know that you deal with your addiction every day, one that you didn't ask for or go seeking. I wanted to protect you from the things that cause my nightmares at night."

It's the silence of a unanswered question that can drive you insane, even if youre the person the question is targeted for. Am I in love with Rachel? I don't think I could ever fall out, but for once in my time with her I don't feel good enough.

"The company doesn't mean anything to me Rach, if I lost it all right now. If they took this house and all the cars and my bank account had nothing in it, I wouldn't care. I would still have you If I had to live outside, I would be fine because when I fell asleep I wouldn't be falling with you and waking up with you. I do know that in my life I never trusted someone, not my mother and sure the hell not my father. I didn't tell people things and I didn't lean on people. I was my own rock I held myself up and I relied on my own actions and the things I only saw because people lie but facts don't. Until you, I trusted you more then I trusted myself, and then I hide things from you, I didn't tell you about the drugs because I thought it would destroy you and I can be mad but you found a way to trust me again. I think were worth it, I think me and you together will always be worth it."

I don't know when we both started to cry or when she started to smile but I missed it, I missed feeling and being at home. I missed knowing what was going to come next and who would be under me at night and tucked beside me in the morning.

"I love you Finn"

"I love you too"

I kissed her for the first time in weeks and the shock that flew through my body was the same, and maybe that seemed too easy but eventually you have to stop fighting and give in to the inevitable. Rachel and I are endgame and no matter the shit that is thrown at us no matter the hurdles we have to jump, we'll do it and we might fight but whether its me or its her we'll forgive each other. I don't see that changing anytime soon.

* * *

It wasn't what I would have expected but when I think about it, it should have been. Leave it to him to mend us when it was me should have been doing the work. But he understands us more he knows the ends and outs more then I do because he feels more and he always has after rehab it was as if he was tapped into not only his emotions but mine as well.

"Finn."

"Yeah babe?"

As we walk up the steps to our room he in front holding my hand leading the way, I want to tell him what's going on and at the right time

"Something happened while you were gone." I can feel his grip loosen " Its good!...i think." We both laugh a worried laugh knowing that if it was bad it would be like taking another blow to the heart and we cant handle that right now.

Once in out room he lets go of my hand and starts toward sthe bathroom slowly pulling his clothes off to get in the shower. Before getting in he comes and kisses me again slowly and light, "We'll talk when I get out, I love you."

"Ill never get tired of hearing you say that, I love you too."

"Good because I don't plan on not ever going without saying it again, it hurt too much."

It does, every day I wasn't around him felt like I lost myself a little more everyday. I don't want to feel that again I don't know what I'm going to do about the Brody situation I know I want him out of our lives I want my family I want this baby to be raised in love and not secrets. Brody has taken so much from me, he's not going to take that from me or my child.

I think about how I could tell him the whole time he was in the shower but once the water cut off my mind went blank, we've never actually had the conversation I think it was just to hard for him. Finn loves children and children love him right back, its adorable to watch but I know he has this part of him that is afraid the addiction will take over and he will end up like his father. He won't, who he is in his heart it to pure it's too good.

"Ok Rach, what do you want to tell me?" he ask climbing into bed, I can tell he's exhausted and happy to be back in his own bed just as much as I am. I take a deep breath but I'm not 100 percent sure whats about to come out."Finn? do you rememeber when we first got here and went to the party and those ladies were being assholes and telling me how your going to be so busy and we'll never see each other because the business and the investments are and she went on to say ill be planning the wedding alone and then if we have kids it'll be me and the nanny raising –"

"Rachel, you're rambling… Look I know I've been bad about the calls and the meetings and not managing my time. It's like one day everything was fine and most people didn't even want to talk to the 'Baby Business Owner' They actually called me that Rachel, it was kind of shitty. But I'm going to do better when I get to the office I'm going to find a way to make sure I get home atleast at a normal time a few times a week, and less trips because I'm thinking about sending Puck out to do that stuff sometimes because he's an ass and I pay him too much for him not to do extra stuff." He starts laughing and I cant help but to think about how much I missed his laugh and his smile.

"Thank you, that means a lot to me."

"Anything for my favorite person in the world."

"Favorite people."

"What? No.. I meant person because its just you."

"And I meant people because it's not just me anymore."

His face turns up in confusion and then I see it soften as if everything is moving into place in his head. a smile creeps his lips and his eyes meet mine again.

"Rach.. are you pregnant?"

"No, WE are pregnant."

* * *

wha

**what are we thinking out there? yes..no..maybe so? cute fluff next? I think so.. also the result of Brody and him being an ass lol.. next few chapters will deal with all of that, I hope you guys liked this chapter..your reviews would be awesome!**

**so..**

**REVIEW :) lol**


	11. hormones

**So this might be a little fluff with a touch of smut filler chapter. Mostly because the beginning of pregnancy is crying and yelling and craving.. I mean those never go away but that basically the first part so I had to add that and how they are handling it. Then we can move into the life changing things, I mean she is a diva right? lol anyways I have been on a writing roll lately and I added a new story.. so now I'm writing this story, Heres to us and MAYBE Keep Fighting, haven't decided if I should continue with it or not. Anywho I am rambling once again..sorry about the wait and thanks for the reviews it means a lot.**

* * *

Its been a month since we started working through everything and things have gotten better, sometimes I work to long and sometimes I bring up the past and vice verse but at the end of the night we talk it out and fall asleep in each others arms. The only thing that is different is that pregnant Rachel doesn't have a filter so she pretty much says whatever she's thinking and I've pretty much heard everything mean and nice in a course of a month, but this is new, usually Rachel likes the way I smell.

"Uh.. I'm sorry? I don't know what to say to that Rach."

"You smell like a girl… that's gross and I don't want it in our bed."

I would correct her and tell her I smell like that weird ass shampoo she accidently bought yesterday and I was forced to use this morning before I went to the store after work.

"I'll go shower."

"Thanks baby."

We had our first sonogram a week after I came back and that's when I knew that dramatic Rachel was replaced with 'crazy sobbing at a drop of a dime' Rachel. She cried harder then I've ever seen her,just when they told her to undress and get in the gown and to be honest I don't think she ever stopped. Between hearing the baby and seeing the little peanut, she pretty much spent the day crying and then the next day because she said her face was swollen and she looks like a hamster because her cheeks were huge so for those two days she just cried. I didn't say anything that whole day, it was scary so I did the only thing I could think of and called my mother.

_"__She's going crazy mom and she isn't even out of the first trimester, like what if she actually goes insane?"_

_"__she won't Finn, she's just trying to get used to the hormones."_

_"__I don't believe you."_

_"__It's okay Finn, I was the same way."_

_"__that doesn't make me feel better."_

Needless to say my mother wasn't that much help, sometimes \though Rachel is soft and nice and moments like that I enjoy the most we sit around and talk about baby names and what she wants to do with the nursery. I told her she could have whatever she felt was necessary.

"Is that better Rachel?" I ask getting out the shower and walking over to kiss her on the cheek.

"Yes, now what are we going to eat tonight?" By far the best thing about this is the food, we have gotten to eat everything unhealthy on earth in the past month then we have gotten to eat the whole time we've stayed in New York .

She tells me she's in the mood for chicken parm and loaded potato skins and I think I fall in love with her a little more.

* * *

I think we should move out of this house it has bad memories, and I think I want my child to be raised in a smaller house. This is too big and when I tell Finn he just laughs like I'm being unreasonable. I don't know if you can love and hate someone at the same time but I do. Finn sucks, he's never there when I want him and when I don't want him he's right there. Pregnancy is horrible, my boobs are so sore that showering actually hurts, and sleeping on my stomach feels weird. But it's the morning sickness and the smells that I cant handle. I mean has New York always smelt like that?

"Finn." I also whine a lot now and I never did that before- well not much, it's like I don't know what I want anymore. Do I want him around or do I want him to go to work and be far far away from me because I think everyday he smells different.

"Yes Rachel?"

"Where are you?"

"About to turn into the driveway…why?"

"I want a kit kat."

He moans. "Ok baby."

He's good with the cravings, even though he knows I'll end of throwing up. He's been good with work too sometimes he's gone longer then I would hope but I know things won't be perfect I might be at home but he runs a company that employees millions of people so they can go home and support their families. I've see things differently since everything has happened, I think we both do.

It's an amazing feeling waking up next to him, euphoric honestly, when he wakes me up with kisses down my back and his hands sliding down my stomach. It's likes everything bad that has happened it washed away and it's us, like always. When he walks in the door I cant help but feel relieved I know it's the hormornes but when he's gone it's like I missing my better half and it hurts. "I got your Kit Kat Rach" he says walking over placing a light kiss on my lips before moving to my stomach and whispering to the baby and adding a kiss to my still flat stomach, it's cute and it's so Finn. I watch him run around the room jumping in the shower and changing into his clothes all while telling me about his day. His phone starts to vibrate "Finn Puck just texted you..he said..' _Call when you can its about the assignment'_ what do you want me to say back to him?" I ask, because seriously is work the only thing they talk about? "Don't worry about it, I'll call him tomorrow or later tonight." He climbs into the bed and pulls me towards him," I just want to lay with my favorite people right now, ok?" It's nothing in this world I rather him be doing then laying with me, "Of course baby, but I'm going to sleep I'm exhausted from all the baby making I'm doing right now."

"Your not baby making right now, but we could be." And I know that voice it's dripping with lust as his hands start to lighting trace over my body and with the simplest touch it set my body on fire and a overwhelming feeling between my legs, "Finn, we shouldn't!" I say it almost a whisper because since being pregnant sex hasn't been the first thing on my mind since I'm usually crying or yelling and on worst days throwing up. " But I need you, and from what I feel, you need me too." He lightly runs his fingers over my now soaked panties before slipping one under and running it up and down my folds, " Well don't tease Finn its not nice." I can feel his smirk against my neck as he sucks and licks over the sure mark he has left, he lefts my leg and places it over his while using his other hands to press me harder into his chest, " I know you're tired, but I'm going to get you off first so you sleep better." And with that I couldn't help but let a moan escape my lips as he positions himself before slowly pushing into me and filling me completely, I've missed this, I've missed him. We haven't had sex since before he left and though every time with him means something, this is the first time we have made love in awhile and I want to relish in every moment, the feeling my body gets every time he pushes deeper into me while taking his time to kiss and love every available part of my body, " I love you more than you'll ever know Rach." He whispers and all I think about is how I know exactly what he means, "I love you so much Finn." As the feeling in my stomach and my body starts to tremble I know I'm close as his thrust become frantic and uneven I know he'll be following after me, as he snaps his hips and hit the spot that I so badly needed him to hit to give me the release I desired as his name rips through my throat and I feel his spill into me with my name flowing through his lips as the attach to mine and we whisper our last goodnights and drift into the best sleep I've had in a long time.

* * *

**Yeah see filler chapter but I hope you guys like it!**

**REVIEW! (:**


End file.
